I Got Really Scared

Speaking for my half of the Drunken Scientist Committee, the two main reasons I've been spending all this time on this odd project are my love of morbid science and my berserk loyalty to the Trash. So it came as a surprise today when I looked online and found that I was excluded from something that I hold so dear.

It started when All Tongues posted the latest list of Who's Cumming for NC/SC 2006, which was ordered by the number of people who were representing each hash. Specifically, he said 21 wankers were representing the host city of Charlotte, while 19 wankers were representing Trash. Buck responded thusly:


I have to contest your counting skills. Just because I am a Trasher... and Drama is what we do ever so well. I believe that your numbers should read more Trashers than Charlotte Harlots!!!! I mean being a trasher is like being a Marine. Once a Marine always a Marine. Once a bibbed Trasher always a Trasher. And I'll even give you a few trashers to make the Charlotte hash list still be in the twenty's.

By my counts the following are Trash for Life!!!!! 27
Scab Ass Rising - Shit Clogger - Hedgey - Little Richard - Buck-a-Fuffalo - Cheap Mexican Whore - Bumper Bullets - Doe-Nutt - Casper - Smoov Operwator - Ass Spelunker - BUI - Hershey Squirt - Fiber Opdick - Tinky Winky - Pantalones de la Mierda de la Sacudida del Spooge - Robin Red Breast - Any Ol' Lesbian Will Do - Diddy - Hillary Rodehim - Man-He-Shoveitz - Puck You - All Hands On Clit - Obi-Wan - Kumonmi - Whorenado Alley - Poison Penis - Sextion 8

Charlotte Harlots!!!! 24
All Tongues on Deck - Vitamin D Cup - Shit Happens - Hollow Beaver - Fur Breeze - Lost & Fucked - Papsmear - Twattoo - Lost Cunt-Tree - Spitzer Swallows - Pukeachu - Deposit Only - Bucket Slut - Tourettes the Clown - Lightweight Larry - NFHN Emily - NFHN Debbie - NFHN - I Ottawa F**ked Her - Just Sonya - Uranus - MoneyShot - Meatwad

Now, I even gave you a few bones by giving you a few bibbed Trashers to make the list a little more reasonabley close. Spitzer, Twattoo (Charlotte Named Her), Shit Happens (I don't think even knows were his bib is anymore), L&F (He lives closer to Charlotte than Nam.) And if you really want to get technicial the Trash can add to its list all of its Trash Bags or Trash by injections and we would be in the 40 or 50's, but we won't do that to the innocent Charlotte women that they once where.....HAHAHA.

I hope you enjoy my list and on behalf of the Carolina Trash 1/2 GM, we look forward to destroying another event by our presence alone... Good day and Watch out here comes the TRASH!!!!!

on-on
buck



I suddenly got rather distressed. I couldn't accept that the location of my Drunken Scientist Lair was what brought this about. Panic set in while I tried to grasp the concept that my hash idol just kicked me to the curb, putting me on a list of consessions rather than on the supreme list of Trash for Life. Did I wake up in some horrific parallel universe where everything I cherish is now gone? I had to find out, and quickly. The first thing I did was rip off my pants for a package check.


Excellent. Then I ran to my hash necklace to look for my G-Spot dog tag, which is a treasured item that my hash idol gave me last year at Trifukta.


So far so good. Then I sprinted to my deck to make sure the bib mix donation was still there.


Thank God. But now what? Because I'm rather half-minded, I couldn't figure this out. Then I realized I would need to think like an intelligent person if I was to understand why this happened. I decided to meditate (I drank until the room started spinning) and came to a sudden realization. He had really picked my name to sacrifice because of another bestowed honor...

...but he didn't mention this because he didn't want to draw attention to it and possibly embarass me in front of everyone. (I'm shy like that.) At the same time, shifting some names around was necessary because he was trying to prove his point without the overkill, which would have alienated people through perceived exaggeration. It's like being in the high school debate club and pummeling people with quick thinking and logic, but without the debate. Or the high school.

I took my findings to the Drunken Scientist Committee, and the case is now considered closed. Now if I can only get the room to stop spinning.

-The Mold Detective