Q&A with L&F
Once the rot kicked in, I started getting a number of questions through e-mail and through drunk dials (you guys rock) about what’s going on. I also have to assume the non-hashers who find the site by Googling "Sex with Food" also have some questions. So here you go.
Q: Hey Trash Scientist, why would Google direct anyone to this site if they're searching for "Sex with Food?" There's no reference to sex anywhere.
A: Well guess what? Thanks to this entry, there are now THREE references to sex with food. Make that four.
Sex with food.
Q: What was the most disgusting thing you added to the mix?
A: The black sesame seeds. They rotted, turned white, and kept just enough structural integrity to look and feel like tiny larvae. I know because I got splashed with some of the mix during the Prom bibbing and noticed some of them.
Q: What is the Drunken Scientist Lair?
A: It's where the nation's most intense alcohol research takes place. (OK, it's my condo. Don't ruin the illusion, damn you.)
Q: When did you decide to add stuff to the mix?
A: As of Day 76, adding stuff became The Cool Thing To Do. We even took guest donations. The original cutoff day for additions was the halfway point, which was around day 180, because we wanted to give any chunks an adequate time to rot away. When we borrowed some mix for the NC/SC bibbing, we decided to keep adding food. The final addition to the mix was the ultimate thickener: The demonic cheese sauce that smelled worse than the mix itself.
Q: You say you wanted to give the chunks an adequate time to rot away, but on Day 258, you added chunky stuff. Why?
A: We decided a few chunks would be cool, so we added a non-blended chicken stew. Plus, I was just too damn lazy to blend anything that day. It was a good experiment. Everything broke down in record time.
Q: Hey, instead of blending stuff, did you ever chew it first and spit it into the jar?
A: Nope. The food would have combined with my spit, and spit is a bodily fluid. No bodily fluids ever touched the mix.
Q: Did you ever secretly add bugs?
A: No insects. We added gross things, but everything we added was something that was originally produced for consumption and sold at a retail establishment.
Q: At some points during the year, your main container had panty hose covering it. Did your ultra-creative shield keep all the bugs out?
A: Yes. The patented Pantyhose Bug Shield did an amazing job keeping out unwanted vermin. Check days 114 and 261 for the pics.
Q: Do you think the mix would ever dry out? And if it dried out, how would you have gotten it out of the container?
A: Up until the cheese sauce was added on day 308, there was always enough water in the main jar to keep the worry-level low. Even after the sauce was added, it was still OK. If it had dried out a little after that, we could have always added some sort of liquid.
Q: As for your website layout, how did you get all those previous postings listed on the sidebar? I have a blogger site and it only lets me list my last 10 postings.
A: You have to delete the pre-formatted blogger section in the Template and do your own HTML. I know some HTML for the same reason I knew some Basic back in the day: I’m a nerd. A mold nerd.
Q: Hey Trash Scientist, are you bibbed?
A: Yes. Multiple entries will lead you to that conclusion. My bib is the end result of dozens of road trips and more than 30,000 miles of driving. My Carolina Trash bib is my most prized hash possession.
Q: What are your other prized hash possessions?
Your questions suddenly got personal. But OK, I'll bite. My Charlotte Happi Coat, my G-Spot 10-hash dog tag and my wooden Trash mug.
Q: Why is your bear named Rhino?
A: If you haven't seen my wicked-mean bear yet, he's here.
His name is Rhino because he had to have Rhinoplasty. I found him after a torrential rainstorm in the parking lot of the Home Depot near the Drunken Scientist Lair, lying face-down in an oversized orange shopping cart. He was wet and miserable and torn in multiple places. His nose was almost completely gone. I immediatly took him home, took his stuffing out and put the non-stuffing parts of him through a gentle wash cycle. As I was letting him air-dry, I called around until I found a decent Bear Surgeon, who restuffed him and sewed him up. He has recovered physically, but still bears some mental scars (yeah, I did a pun) from his former torturous owners. When he was 100%, I brought up hashing. He was intrigued, so I explained everything, including what the bib mix was all about.
Q: What’s the deal with your camera?
A: It’s a Canon A620. 7MP. It takes rechargeable AA’s and makes me very happy. Here's a suggestion for anyone with a digital camera: learn every feature it has. It will be worth it.
Q: How did you get so smart?
A: I think it’s the mold. And I don’t watch TV. Well, I do for work, but that’s it.
Q: Will you please please please take a picture of yourself naked?
A: Um. No. No one wants to see that. Trust me.
Q: Hey Trash Scientist, why would Google direct anyone to this site if they're searching for "Sex with Food?" There's no reference to sex anywhere.
A: Well guess what? Thanks to this entry, there are now THREE references to sex with food. Make that four.
Sex with food.
Q: What was the most disgusting thing you added to the mix?
A: The black sesame seeds. They rotted, turned white, and kept just enough structural integrity to look and feel like tiny larvae. I know because I got splashed with some of the mix during the Prom bibbing and noticed some of them.
Q: What is the Drunken Scientist Lair?
A: It's where the nation's most intense alcohol research takes place. (OK, it's my condo. Don't ruin the illusion, damn you.)
Q: When did you decide to add stuff to the mix?
A: As of Day 76, adding stuff became The Cool Thing To Do. We even took guest donations. The original cutoff day for additions was the halfway point, which was around day 180, because we wanted to give any chunks an adequate time to rot away. When we borrowed some mix for the NC/SC bibbing, we decided to keep adding food. The final addition to the mix was the ultimate thickener: The demonic cheese sauce that smelled worse than the mix itself.
Q: You say you wanted to give the chunks an adequate time to rot away, but on Day 258, you added chunky stuff. Why?
A: We decided a few chunks would be cool, so we added a non-blended chicken stew. Plus, I was just too damn lazy to blend anything that day. It was a good experiment. Everything broke down in record time.
Q: Hey, instead of blending stuff, did you ever chew it first and spit it into the jar?
A: Nope. The food would have combined with my spit, and spit is a bodily fluid. No bodily fluids ever touched the mix.
Q: Did you ever secretly add bugs?
A: No insects. We added gross things, but everything we added was something that was originally produced for consumption and sold at a retail establishment.
Q: At some points during the year, your main container had panty hose covering it. Did your ultra-creative shield keep all the bugs out?
A: Yes. The patented Pantyhose Bug Shield did an amazing job keeping out unwanted vermin. Check days 114 and 261 for the pics.
Q: Do you think the mix would ever dry out? And if it dried out, how would you have gotten it out of the container?
A: Up until the cheese sauce was added on day 308, there was always enough water in the main jar to keep the worry-level low. Even after the sauce was added, it was still OK. If it had dried out a little after that, we could have always added some sort of liquid.
Q: As for your website layout, how did you get all those previous postings listed on the sidebar? I have a blogger site and it only lets me list my last 10 postings.
A: You have to delete the pre-formatted blogger section in the Template and do your own HTML. I know some HTML for the same reason I knew some Basic back in the day: I’m a nerd. A mold nerd.
Q: Hey Trash Scientist, are you bibbed?
A: Yes. Multiple entries will lead you to that conclusion. My bib is the end result of dozens of road trips and more than 30,000 miles of driving. My Carolina Trash bib is my most prized hash possession.
Q: What are your other prized hash possessions?
Your questions suddenly got personal. But OK, I'll bite. My Charlotte Happi Coat, my G-Spot 10-hash dog tag and my wooden Trash mug.
Q: Why is your bear named Rhino?
A: If you haven't seen my wicked-mean bear yet, he's here.
His name is Rhino because he had to have Rhinoplasty. I found him after a torrential rainstorm in the parking lot of the Home Depot near the Drunken Scientist Lair, lying face-down in an oversized orange shopping cart. He was wet and miserable and torn in multiple places. His nose was almost completely gone. I immediatly took him home, took his stuffing out and put the non-stuffing parts of him through a gentle wash cycle. As I was letting him air-dry, I called around until I found a decent Bear Surgeon, who restuffed him and sewed him up. He has recovered physically, but still bears some mental scars (yeah, I did a pun) from his former torturous owners. When he was 100%, I brought up hashing. He was intrigued, so I explained everything, including what the bib mix was all about.
Q: What’s the deal with your camera?
A: It’s a Canon A620. 7MP. It takes rechargeable AA’s and makes me very happy. Here's a suggestion for anyone with a digital camera: learn every feature it has. It will be worth it.
Q: How did you get so smart?
A: I think it’s the mold. And I don’t watch TV. Well, I do for work, but that’s it.
Q: Will you please please please take a picture of yourself naked?
A: Um. No. No one wants to see that. Trust me.
posted by L&F at 11:07 PM
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