Yeasty Entertainment

The yeast is waiting to eat.
The molasses and water are in the pot.


I'm adding the mixture to the yeast.
Yes, I'm pouring and snapping the photo at the same time.
I can also drink and fall down at the same time. Sweet.


Shake violently to piss off the yeast cells.


One hour later.
The yeast cells are pissed.


Edgy photo from a highly creative drunk.

Maybe I should explain this now. This gunk is a Belgian Ale yeast strain that LaTuFu scraped out of the bottom of his fermenter. Apparently, he kept the beer for future use. The first time I talked to him about his donation, my only concern was the transportation. I used to brew beer, so I was worried that the yeast would continue doing the yeast thing during the trip, and build up so much pressure, the container would blow and UPS would then stand for Uber-Pissed Shipper. Or something like that.

A few days later, LaTuFu said the yeast was behaving in his fridge, and that he would overnight it to me with an ice pack inside to help keep the temperature down. UPS delivers most overnight packages by 10:30a, and I don't get off work until 1p. Normally, I can catch the ground-shipment driver (Dennis) as he makes his 3:30p stop at the Office Depot near my house. But like most people, I have two UPS drivers, and I don't know the air-package guy or his route. Before I left for work Thursday morning, I taped a note to my door, telling the driver I would NEVER be able to get the package from him because of my schedule. I asked him to call me with a place I could meet him later in the day, and I would take the package of his hands.

I got home at 1:30p. There was an InfoNotice on my door, and it said the next delivery time would be before 10:30a the next day (Friday). As if my note never existed. My first call was leaving a message for Pledge Glen, to tell him he's been wasting my time and that he doesn't need to call me anymore. I said a few more choice things, but you don't need to be exposed to that much ugliness. Pledge Glen would end up depledging and that generated an assload of drama, but that's another story.

You have to understand something about me: I'm a very busy person, and inefficiency irritates me sometimes. Especially when it comes from stupid people. And since I'm also hyper, I will sometimes entertain myself by going on Personal Quests to get things done. Knowing that, my second call was to UPS to find out where the driver was. I somehow got around the automated system and got a human (Shandra, I think she said), and sweet-talked her into contacting the dispatcher for my area. The dispatcher's name is Charles, and he called me back at 3:20p. I told him I was sitting in front of Office Depot waiting for Dennis, on the off-chance some miracle occurred between my two drivers. Nope. He said Travis had my package, and that Travis would meet me at the Cumberland UPS store down the street from my house at 6p. And by the way... I now have Charles' direct line. Sweet.

Notice all the names I'm throwing out. That's because when you go on Personal Quests, you need to keep all names and all phone numbers. Trust me.

5:55p. I go into the UPS Store and ask the owner (Tom) if Travis has been in yet because he has a package of mine. Tom looks confused and asks who Travis is. See? This is what makes a Quest a Quest. It never ends.

5:56p. Tom says his 6p pick-up guy is Greg, and Greg is in back getting packages. Tom calls Greg up to the front. Greg tells me that he doesn't deliver to my area, and someone else has my package. I tell him Travis has my pacakge, but Greg doesn't know Travis, and doesn't know Travis' route.

5:59p. Greg calls Dispatcher Charles and Charles starts making calls. Greg gives Charles my number again, and I run back out to the car to get ready to bolt out of the parking lot. Travis has already been working 10 hours, and I have no idea if his 6p stop is his last stop.

6:05p. I get a hold of Charles. He says I was supposed to meet Travis at the Cumberland BOULEVARD location, which ended up being about three miles away. He asks me if I know where that store is, and I tell him no. I start up the car and start driving in that general direction while he finds the store and talks to Travis.

6:08p. Charles tells me that from what he can tell, the UPS Store on Cumberland Blvd is near a Quiktrip and a Panda Express. Those happen to be on Spring Road, and that intersection SUCKS during rush hour. Have you ever been stuck at an intersection and seen people who walk faster than you're driving? Yeah, that's it. Charles says I have five minutes.

6:09p. My hasher sense kicks in. I make a couple quick turns to take a back road to the area, and then pull into the back parking lot of the hotel that's next to Panda Express. I jump out of the car, and can HEAR the traffic. I jump a wood barricade, climb a small pine-straw hill and cut across the Panda parking lot. Weaving between idling cars, I run across Spring Road to Quiktrip, cut across THAT parking lot and then start running up Cumberland Blvd. The store is down this street somewhere. You might be asking yourself why I'm doing all this. Because I CAN. And I WILL get this damn package.

6:12p. I find the sign up the street. I weave between more idling cars and cut across one more parking lot.

6:13p. I meet Travis. He hands me a box that smells like beer. I tell him my story, and he explains why he didn't deal with my note. Apparently, he had 30 overnight packages to deliver in about 75 minutes this morning, and "didn't have time." I had the box in my hand, so the No Harm No Foul rule kicked in. Travis drives out of the parking lot and I walk back to the car. Right before I climb down the pine straw hill near my truck, I look back at the intersection. Travis is sitting there, idling in traffic with everyone else.

OK, that's the story. Check the pictures to get the rest.

May the Hash Get a Piece