Day 14

Two weeks in, and the mix finally started fermenting. There is condensation at the top of the jar, but more importantly, there are tell-tale bubbles rising up from the bottom layer of gook, through the liquid in the middle, and up through the foamy mess above. If any of you have ever brewed beer, do you know what happens when the bubbles break through the yeast and start rising through the liquid? The movement leaves a tiny trail of sediment behind as the bubble shoots upward. It looks pretty cool.

Day 14. I thought this would be a good time to stir the mix, so the foamy mess up top could have some fun too. Today's smell test was quite disturbing. The mix doesn't appear to have any more odor than it did on Day One.

Days 2-7

Overall, the skanification process has been slower than I had expected, but since there are 51 weeks left, we're not too worried about it.

Day 7. More of the sludge is sinking.

Day 3. The water is still at the bottom, but some of the sludge is sinking.

Day 2. Notice here that the water has separated from the foamy, blended mass.

Day One: The Mix is Created

For our donation, we started by cleaning out Red Breast’s refrigerator right after we got back from Prom Sunday afternoon. We then transferred everything to my house and blended the two starters, the first four fermentables and the first two aromatics.
We defiled a Yucca jar by drilling a hole in the lid and adding an air lock, which home-brewers use to let escaping gas out of their fermenting beer while keeping everything else out.
We wanted to wait to add the rest of the ingredients because the salt, vinegar and other preservatives in them would have slowed down the skankifying process.

Batch 1 (in jar) and batch 2. Note how much blended salmon and tomatoes looks live vomit.

Mixing vomity goodness by hand is the only way to mix vomity goodness.

The highly advanced (and hung over) engineering team devised a way to keep the air inside the jar, while avoiding a potentially deadly pressure build-up.

Day 1. In case you're wondering from this picture, we did not add Peachtree Schnapps to the mix. That was just me making Ruby Relaxers, since I didn't get to try one at John J's.

The Ingredients

Here are the ingredients, and who donated them.

THE "STARTERS"
Fuzzy Tomatoes - rb
Putrid Corn Dip - rb
Moldy Instant Coffee -rb
Science-Fair-Experiment Bread -rb
Funky Feta Goo - es
Horrific Half and Half - lf
Soured Belgian Ale Yeast Culture - Ltf
Shoot the Hooch Chicken Dinner - rb


THE FERMENTABLES
Salmon - rb
Cottage Cheese - rb
Pumpkin Ale - lf
Tomato Juice - rb
Olives - lf
Baked Beans - lf
Pork Brains - lf
Potted Meat - lf
Unsulfered Molasses - lf
Marshmallow Peeps - lf
Cooked Sweet Potato - ???


THE "AROMATICS"
Steamed Red Onions - lf
Roasted Garlic - lf
Clam Juice - lf
Fish Sauce - lf
L&F's famous chili chocolate - lf
Escargot, sans shells - cwd
Octopus Chunks - cwd
Squid in Ink Sauce - cwd
Celery Salt - lf
Black Sesame Seeds - lf


THE CONDIMENTS
Mayo - rb
Mustard - rb
Ranch Dressing - rb
Hot Sauce - lf


THE BINDER
Funkified Cheese Sauce - rb
which contained:
--some random chicken dinner
--shrivelly tomatoes on the vine
--hopelessly skanky couscous
--gag-inspiring sage gouda
--hurl-inducing cream haverty


Donor Key (in alphabetical order):
cwd - Cuervo the Wonder Dog
es - Ear Shot
lf - L&F
Ltf - LaTuFu
??? - Mystery Donor
rb - Red Breast

Here are the pictures of the initial ingredients.
This is fresh Teriaki Salmon. Hint: if you want to blend fresh salmon, for the love of God, take the skin off first.

This picture's dark, but even with enough light, these steamed red onions still don't look appetizing. The roasted garlic is to the left, and is probably the best-tasting thing we added.

Some of the other ingredients. We did not add the oil, since it would have just taken up space.

The condiments are all mixed up.

Here's what the condiments looked like, when blended with Clam Juice, baked beans and olives.

The Idea

The idea to donate a year-old mix for 2006 came from Ass Spelunker, who showed up to Prom 2005 with year-old milk. (That was probably a reason the fried-turkey oil we got bibbed with also smelled like vomit.)

Red Breast and I devised the recipe on the drive home from Fayetteville and figured it would be a good idea to start the mix that night, so the vile cuncockshun in the jar could fully stretch the entire year.

If you don't know what a bib looks like, here it is.

Rhino knows how to bring a bib to his master.



Hey, hold it. This bear isn't cute. This bear is bad-ass. His hash name is Rhino, and he'll tear your intestines out if you talk baby-talk around him or say his owner is a pussy. Grrrr...